Stop Settling for Less

You wake up one day with a nagging feeling, the kind that tells you something is missing. You do not feel fulfilled or truly happy. Very little excites you or lifts you up. Your days are packed with routines and tasks and errands and busy activities to maintain the boring hum that has now become your existence. You have been settling for less and reacting to life but alas you realize that you want more than the status quo. You want to stop just existing and start living.

You are not alone.

As we get older, we lose the vibrance and freshness of our youth and get into the boring routines that come with responsibility, sometimes convinced that fun and responsibility cannot co-exist so we must deny ourselves or risk being labeled irresponsible.

Well my friends, today is the day you say “No More Settling”.

Your life is not some dull predictable script with a predictable end. You are the architect of your life and you can design your future any way you want but first you have to know what you desire.

• Do you desire more income? Good
• Do you desire travel to exotic locations? great
• Do you desire to be treated like a queen? wonderful
• Do you desire happiness? even better

So what is stopping you?

This life we live boils down to a very simple thing: The choices we make. You have to first and foremost take complete responsibility of the choices you have made so far, consciously identify what it is you desire and then take consistent action.

You are not some helpless creature at the mercy of life and other human beings you meet along the way. You are powerful and in charge of your destiny if you choose to be. Not doing anything to improve your situation is also a choice and if that is the choice you make, do not hold anyone else accountable for that decision but yourself.

7 Tips to snap out of your status quo

1. Take Ownership of your Feelings: People do not make you do anything. Your reaction is a choice. You can choose to be upset because your spouse didn’t do the dishes or just do them and be done with it. You can choose to marinate in negative thoughts and energy instead of liberating positive thoughts. What you feel, is a choice and you have the freedom to choose a more positive feeling even when the situation calls for negative emotions.
2. Stop blaming others for where you are in life: It is easy to point fingers and to say that your life is a result of something someone else did, didn’t do or said. To some extent you will suffer consequences from decisions others make however, you are a powerful human being. One that can make a way out of no-way if you want something bad enough. So stop blaming your husband, your wife, your kids, your friends, your job … just stop blaming others. Instead ask yourself, “What can I do to change my status quo”. You cannot completely control what other people do, think or feel. You can however make the tough choices today that will take you where you want to be tomorrow.
3. Give yourself Love and affirmations: You need to give yourself love. Acknowledge your accomplishments and compliment your successes. Make it a point to tell yourself how amazing and strong you are because you are. Learn to celebrate you. If you are a stay at home mom, don’t minimize your contribution. If you are between jobs, don’t beat yourself up, remind yourself how amazing you are because you have to be the first person to believe it before others can.
4. Use your Imagination: Imagine the kind of life you would like to be living. Have fun with your imagination and be detailed. See yourself in that alternate reality then ask yourself, “what can I do today to take me closer to what I desire?” and then take action. Dream big but start small and build momentum.
5. Find positive re-enforcement: Join a club or group that will be a positive contribution to your emotional tank. If you don’t have a healthy network of positive people to turn to, you can try visiting www.meetup.com and look for groups that share your hobbies or passion.
6. Stay focused on your lane: It is easy to get distracted trying to compare your life or your struggles to that of others … DON’T! That is a disastrous mistake. Some people’s life may look easy but you are not them and they are not you. The challenges you face are not challenges you cannot overcome. Do not worry about others. No matter how challenging you feel your life is as compared to others, focus on learning about ways to improve your situation and mindset. Life is not a competition. There isn’t some grand prize waiting for some ‘winner’. You are the judge and jury of what winning means to you so the only person you should be competing against is the person you were yesterday.
7. Find a path forward: When you feel cornered by your circumstances, you need to take a step back and think through your options, including the unpleasant ones and assess what your best path is forward, even if it is not the most convenient. Keep your eye on the ball and do what is necessary for you to overcome your obstacles. Instead of letting your current situation keep you in a state of constant frustration, keep looking for ways you can make things better.